You fuck up your diet. Again. Your gym membership is for the year but you stopped going many months back.
Once more, you take responsibility for what has happened. Laudable.
You have encountered failure before.
You draw motivation from the people you know who have successfully transformed their unhealthy habits into much healthier ones. Next time, you think, you can crack it. But why do you find motivation so hard? Why is your willpower weaker than those fuckers who seem to have figured it out?!
However, you find it impossible to accomplish.
The blame lies with you. Had you only been able to...
Stop.
I don't like to talk about the experiences that enabled me to get fit. Nevertheless, it can be a powerful motivator for others to realise that if I can do it, then so can they.
My intent is for you to get motivated by my journey. You figure out the translation of whatever worked for me (or for anyone around you that's been successful) and you implement it.
However, the outcome is a tumble and self-recriminations.
Would you believe me if I said that it wasn't your fault?
Despite putting forth your best effort from the outset, if something happens to come up, it's understandable.
Trying to implement a new diet or workout plan is like trying to fight the tide. It is swimming against the current. It is achievable, and some may even be successful. But most will be unable to make any progress and be pushed back.
This regime concerning diet and exercise is not exclusively centred on one single person. It is not within one's power to control. It definitely looks that way.
All the odds are against you achieving success.
It's crazy, but with food delivery apps, you can get anything your heart desires from any city. I mean, I can even have Nolen Gur Rasagullas from Calcutta delivered to me - how wild is that?!
Your endeavours face opposition. Your work culture sucks. If you aim to move up the hierarchy, you must put in laborious hours. You must work in odd time zones. You must take on the tasks of the individual they recently dismissed. But fuck no, it is not a promotion. That's just a carrot dangled.
To complete necessary tasks and still have a little time to spend with loved ones, you must sacrifice some of your sleep in a day that has a limited number of hours.
The apprehension increases. The levels of cortisol in the body rise. The Heart Rate Variability (HRV) decreases. This chemical imbalance in one's body makes it more difficult to have the motivation to go to the gym and to make healthy dietary choices.
You find yourself opting to pass on the gym instead, and to satisfy your cravings (brought on by stress at work and home), you indulge in comfort foods. Unknowingly, you are allowing yourself to be affected by the stress-induced appetite, and you attribute it to a lack of self-control.
I am not doing you any favours by saying that, in the past, running 500m was something I could not do. However, now I have made progress.
I did something difficult, but what use is it to you?
I'm still searching for a response.
It's been an issue that's been on my mind for a while now.
The system is fucked up. The work environment is terrible. None of the food companies or pharmaceutical companies are looking out for our well-being.
It can be a treacherous journey.
But we will figure it out.
It is imperative to understand that you are not to blame.
It can be difficult to go against the flow.
Let's start with realising it is not your fault.