In the same way that the Platonic Idea of, say, tree-ness is different from and so much better than any particular tree we may see (which may have branches missing and other imperfections), so a person will never embody the qualities we perceive in them as perfectly as we might imagine. While the loss of self that we feel when worshipping another can feel intoxicating, there is no doubt that it can bring much pain when the all-too-human qualities of the targets of our obsessions become crushingly apparent.
– Derren Brown
Hero worship. Having outlandish expectations. Pinning your dreams on someone else - your favourite sports team, your idol, your whatever.
Bruce Lee says this succinctly as well. About expectations.
The moment you are aware of confusion, of exactly what is, you try to escape from it. Those sects which offer you a system for the solution of suffering - economic, social, or religious - are the worst; because then system becomes important and not man - whether it be a religious system, or a system of the left or of the right. System becomes important - the philosophy, the idea, becomes important - and not man; and for the sake of the idea, of the ideology, you are willing to sacrifice all mankind, which is exactly what is happening in the world.
The system has become important. Therefore, as the system has become important, men, you and I, lose significance; and the controllers of the system, whether religious or social, whether of the left or of the right, assume authority, assume power, and therefore, sacrifice you, the individual. That is exactly what is happening.
– J Krishnamurti
The great majority of us cannot listen; we find ourselves compelled to evaluate, because listening is too dangerous. The first requirement is courage, and we do not always have it.
– Carl Rogers
Only last year I made the realisation that I am a terrible listener. It is because I evaluate and judge that I am poor at listening to myself, and to others. To simply listen without judgment, to simply listen with awareness and to do nothing about it. It seems like a first step but sometimes, it seems that's all there is to do. But sure enough, I find myself trying to solve things.
Thanks for reading!